Sunday, November 9, 2008

'Everything will be all right'

I've heard this baloney quite often. It is the ultimate universally reassuring statement. Whatever happens, don't worry. Everything will be all right.

It can be very irritating sometimes. What will be all right?

CKD has taken away the best years of my life from me. It has brought a host of other problems with it. But don't worry, everything will be all right.

Do these words really help? Do you think they offer comfort? They are really easy to say. Easy to utter. And people think they have done their job by saying this.

I understand that the intent is to ease the agony with the hope of a better future. But honestly, they don't help at all. I know what I have. I'm not that foolish to think that there is going to be a day when I will not have any medical problems at all. I'm stuck with this for life. I know that.

Don't get me wrong here. I am definitely not depressed. I am totally composed. I deal with this very objectively. I am handling this quite well. It is very easy to give up. Pavan Joshi did. I am not going to. Not so soon anyway.

But making such silly statements is totally unnecessary whatever the intent.

One other piece of advice I have for people going to visit someone in a hospital. Never discuss the problem. You never know enough to offer advice. Visit and discuss something totally unrelated. Politics, films, work, whatever. Never ask the patient or the family about the problem. Your visit should be an opportunity for them to get away from the problem. They have discussed this enough.

I have had totally ignorant people coming to visit me (years back when I was in hospital) and ask me what the doctor said. How does that bother you? You know what he said? He said I should not tolerate nosy visitors. Never mind what the doctor said. Let's hear what you have to say instead.

Sorry for ranting so much today.

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