Monday, November 17, 2008

My problem with Dostana

I saw Dostana yesterday. It was a good film.

I have one problem with it however. There is a scene in the film where Abhishek Bachchan asks Priyanka Chopra if she is ok with the whole gay thing. Is she comfortable with the fact that Abhishek and John Abraham, who are going to be staying in her house are gay? Priyanka then replies saying that of course she's ok with it. 'Its your choice'.

This is one misconception that people have. They call being gay a 'choice'. It is not a choice. It is how people are made. Their genetic make-up. When you like something, it is not that you consciously decide to like it. You just like it.

Similarly when people are attracted to others of the opposite sex or the same sex, it is not a conscious decision they are making. It is just a part of their system. Their genes are just wired that way. Its not as if at some point in life, a person decides which sex he or she is going to be attracted to.

The worst possible reaction of course, is to think that gays are perverts and that something is 'wrong' with them or that they are 'diseased'. This is ridiculous. But attributing this to a choice that they have made is wrong too.

Another common misconception that people have about gays is that they are always effeminate. Bollywood has constantly portrayed gays as effeminate. Well, some gays are effeminate but definitely not all. Nobody can make out that a person is gay just from physical appearance. In an attempt to burlesque gays and raise some laughs, Bollywood has been severely guilty of this faulty depiction.

It is high time we moved away from such stereotypes and mistaken notions.

6 comments:

Akbar Pasha said...

What you say about "choice" and how gays are "made" is totally valid. But I think in developed countries it has crossed the realm of "made" and now its more of a choice as to one announces or comes out that he or she is gay. That's why there are laws being passed for gay marriages.

But as to still developing countries I think the concept is too new (even though gay people might have existed since Ramayana time) and the argument that it's "made" makes more sense. But again the it could be construed that those born like that are defective or weird.

It's about time India create a gay friendly law. Start by recognizing them. Hopefully Ramdoss would win in this.

sawan said...

"This is one misconception that people have. They call being gay a 'choice'. It is not a choice. It is how people are made. Their genetic make-up."

its not true. if your statement is valid, then this genetically gay people should get attracted to every one in their sex which is not happening. Having a relationship with someone of the same sex is only by choice. What you are talking about "biological inclination" is someone like a she-man who has physical featured of the opposite or both sex!

Kamal Shah said...

"genetically gay people should get attracted to every one in their sex which is not happening."

Do heterosexual people get attracted to every person of the opposite sex? No. So, why do you think genetically gay people should get attracted to everyone of the same sex?

Kamal Shah said...

"now its more of a choice as to one announces or comes out that he or she is gay."

The choice is whether to come out or not. To be gay or not is not a choice.

Madras Hash said...

The film is probably made by people who lead bisexual lives. For them being gay or straight is a matter of choice, as they lead both lives. The INCLINATION to be straight or gay is probably genetic, but LEADING a gay/straight life can be a matter of choice, unless it is forced on you as happens in abusive situations.

As an analogy, we all know of a number of natural left handers who write, eat or bat right handed, as a matter of "training" or by choice.

My problem with Dostana is that the first half was good, and then the script writers lost their way.

Kamal Shah said...

I agree with you about the second half of the film. Also on the part about the inclination being genetic.

Many people however believe that gay people simply choose to be gay and there is nothing genetic to it. Whereas I believe that being gay voluntarily is entirely genetic and has nothing to do with choice.