Saturday, May 23, 2009

Marriage and Kidney Disease

I recently learnt that someone I knew as a fellow dialyzor at the unit I went to for a few months got married to someone he was seeing for a few years. I was really happy to hear this. He was a few years younger than me, was on dialysis for a while and had a successful living related donor transplant at the same hospital. He is also working in the software industry.


This is a very tricky issue for most people. There are just too many factors at play here. The life of someone with kidney disease is already quite complicated. If you are on dialysis, you are leading a life where you have to compromise on many things. Yes, nocturnal daily dialysis does reduce the compromises that you have to make but its not as if you can lead an absolutely normal life. For people on in-center, twice or thrice a week dialysis, it is all the more difficult to balance the adjustments one has to make due to marriage with the rigors of being on dialysis.


Dialysis is often accompanied by a host of co-morbidities, conditions triggered by the lack of functioning kidneys. Almost every organ in the body can be affected. Health related issues become the central aspect of the life of a person on dialysis. Well, there are exceptions. Samiir Halady, for example. But I don't know how many people are like him.


After a transplant, things improve somewhat. But it is not all roses, either. The medication that needs to be taken after a transplant has a host of side effects. There is also the constant fear of something going wrong. The entire process takes a heavy mental toll. Also, after a few years you have to go back to being on dialysis. An understanding spouse can make a huge difference. But someone with a little less patience or understanding can ruin the life of both.


In this case, the guy and the girl were seeing each other probably before the diagnosis of CKD was made. It is really commendable that the girl stood by the guy through all the upheavals in his life and they finally got married. I don't think there are too many girls who would do that.

1 comment:

Gus Castaneda said...

I think when there's love nothing else matters, but it has to be a special love from the heart, not the kinda love most of us think that comes in mind first as sex. Most people get into relationships just for the sex part and that doesn't work in relationships when there's an illness involved, those don't last.