Wednesday, September 30, 2009

My friend, the bachelor

I am quite surprised to find the number of bachelors I have among my friends. I thought I would do them a little favor and try and fix them a match. So, here goes - the list of the most eligible bachelors in town:

1. Mr. Nice - he is the essence of correctness. The guy whom every girl would love to take home to her parents. Take all the good things in this world and put it inside one human and you get Mr. Nice. A genius. An excellent techie. A wonderful human. I could go on and on.

2. Mr. SCDAFF - this guy can do anything for friends. If you're in a horrible mess, with insurmountable problems, unable to figure out what to do and need some support, no matter what, call him. If you hook him, you will get a best buddy for life and that sometimes, is more than a husband.

3. Mr. Dialysis Tech - this guy dialyses me. He has no formal education in dialysis but is better than most others in his field. When I was in-center, I would refuse to undergo dialysis if he wasn't there to cannulate. I probably would not have started home hemo if it wasn't for his support. I am probably doing myself a disservice by looking for a match for him because, the day he gets married, I will be on my own with the dialysis machine.

4. Mr. Masti - I have known him for 28 of my 34 years - my oldest friend. We've been friends since we were toddlers in primary school. Behind the intemperate exterior is a genuine, caring heart. He will not make it evident. But I can feel it. That's the beauty of this guy.

And last, but not the least, yours truly. If you are a young girl on dialysis, looking for a hunk on dialysis with a huge - well, fistula, drop me a line and we could - well, dialyse together into the sunset!

5 comments:

Madras Hash said...

I would not restrict the "search" to a girl on dialysis, tho' if you put out the description on a Dating/Matrimonial site, you will probably get a 1000 hits from all over the world.

Living with a person on home dialysis is probably not much more different than living with a person with Type 1 Diabetes and having a insulin pump strapped on 24 x 7. Or a person will am alergic condition where almost anything - including a change in in temp from the 22 to 26 C band will trigger off a reaction that will need Emergency Care in a hospital.

You are, in a sense, stigmatising yourself. You live with a condition but that does not describe you. Wake up and look at yourself with the eyes of a young girl yearning for a person with a large "we know what", and a personality & attitude which brings sunshine in her life. She is probably looking for a person who sees her for what she is, not what you want her to be, or your parents, neighbours and friends want her to be.

There are plenty of women out there scared to get married, not knowing what they are in for.

The only condition you may want her to meet is: not scared to canulate or see the sight of blood. That rules me out, unfortunately!

s said...

I think I know who Mr.Nice, Mr. SCDAFF and Mr.Masti are.

Kamal D Shah said...

@s: Hmmm, I'm not so sure

Anonymous said...

I am on IHD. I read some of your post, thought you were very witty and decided to check out your site.

I disagree with most of what Madras said. Though an illness should not be defining, sometimes the treatments is. I have been around diabetes my whole life, (father and grandfather) I am highly allergic to everything.

I have Lupus that has caused my Kindney failure. I spend 9hrs a night doing PD and countless time trying to keep my levels where they need to be. It defines what I eat and where I sleep, how I travel, Work/shcool, relationships of all kinds. It changes the dynamics of a persons life. BTW I haven't even mentioned energy levels. The way I see it is the Kidneys are busy lil bees, I scramble around to do 15% of what they used to.

Before the actual failing of my busy bees, I was still in kidney failure, still had other chronic conditions, that may land me in the ER every once in a while. I felt very lil restriction because of this. People die more frequently from Dialysis complications than form the actual disease.

(My rant continues) Dialysis defines me, it consumes and dictates much of what I do. Just as a family or a job would. My high blood pressure, asthma, and allergies are drastically less defining, almost miniscule in comparison.

Dialysis is a great big unknown and therefore scary. Speaking as a single woman, I know I would love to have some help in the daily things I tackle, and even more so would really like to share the struggles, fears, changes both good and bad with someone. It is not an easy role for a partner, no matter how well the said patient has adapted to their life sustaining treatment.

Formerly scared of blood and needles,
co IHD member

Kamal D Shah said...

I totally understand what you're saying Anonymous.

@Madras Hash: I was kidding btw when I added myself to the list of bachelors. Marriage is quite a complicated institution in itself. I am not sure I can handle it in my circumstances.