Sunday, January 30, 2011

Sleepless nights

For the last few days, I have been having problems sleeping at night. I go to sleep soon enough but only partially. I feel like things are happening all around me. Some very urgent things. I can actually hear people talk and I respond, like it is day and I am working. I am not fully awake for sure. It is almost a state of limbo - neither sleeping nor awake!

The things that are happening are of two kinds - either it is related to the new Peritoneal Dialysis program we started at NephroPlus or it is related to Aashayein, the patient event we are organizing next Sunday. I have been very closely involved with these two and my mind is quite obsessed with these two things. So, I think this is carrying on to my sleep as well.

Yesterday, I had quite a terrible night. The whole night was one chaotic one. So much noise. So much tension. And to top it all, my mind caught on to a 'click' sound made by the blood pump of the dialysis machine. No matter what I did, I couldn't get my mind to ignore this sound. The dialysis machine probably made that before too but I never noticed. Last night however, I couldn't get my mind off it. I also tried putting cotton balls in my ears. This didn't work either. Probably because it was my mind hearing it rather than my ears.

At around 4 in the morning, I got frustrated and closed the dialysis session myself before the scheduled time had completed. Only then could I go to sleep. Sound, blissful sleep.

When I awoke however, I felt horrible. Like a zombie. Like how the surface of a drum would feel when it has been hit by a stick. It was like my whole body was vibrating at a low frequency. A slow buzz. I was feeling drained and week. I rested the whole morning. Only after lunch did I start feeling better. My closing weight was a good half kilo more than my dry weight so it wasn't excess fluid removal too. What was it then?

Last night, I decided to skip dialysis. I badly needed a good night's sleep. The fluid weight gain was also not much. So, I decided to take the night off. I had an excellent sleep and here I am, awake, fully rested, writing this post!

Have a great Sunday!

1 comment:

Glucosamine said...

may be you have many things doing round inside your brain nowadays and which doesn't allows you to have sound sleep .