Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Despondent

This evening brought some horrible news. I got an SMS from the son of one of NephroPlus' PD patients. His mother passed away this morning. She had battled various complications for the last couple of weeks and this morning had a cardiac arrest and passed away.

This serves as a reminder (again) about how unpredictable life is. I had met her a couple of months ago to get her started on NephroPlus' PD program. She seemed a strong woman, well educated, aware of her condition and proactive. She seemed to be doing very well indeed. I could never imagined that this would come so fast.

Life is so, so uncertain. You never know what's going to happen the next moment. More so for people like me. After joining NephroPlus, I have had to face this harsh reality more often. It is very unnerving to think about this. When I heard about this today, my heart became really heavy for a while. I froze for a few seconds.

When I think about this, I am appalled at the directionless way I am living my life. Reckless and intemperate. I must ask myself this question: If death were to come face to face with me and give me a few seconds to think, what would my thoughts be? Would I say - "I have lived a good life, I am not scared" or would I be so shocked and regretful about the life that I have lived that my face would blanch with fear?

1 comment:

Madras Hash said...

You have the questions. You will need to find your own answers.

Suggestions: Find a Therapist, Spiritual Guru or equivalent, who will FACILITATE a dialogue where YOU articulate your own answers. The wrong person to interact with is the one who has ALL the answers, usually based on a religious belief/dogma.