Monday, July 4, 2011

Good guys finish last

I was chatting with two patients at NephroPlus. Both of them were around my age, relatively recently diagnosed, on dialysis for a few months, still coming to terms with this dirty disease.

One of them remarked, "I often think - I never touched alcohol, never smoked, never had any bad habits. Despite this how did I end up with this problem? I had many friends who had every bad habit conceivable. They are all perfectly healthy." The other laughed and said, "Those people will never have any health problems! It is only fools like us who lead good lives that end up with this!" I totally agreed.

I have also experienced this. I was the 'good' guy in my family and at school. I was very well-behaved, conscientious, studious. I was also very religious. My grandmother once famously remarked that I was the 'essence of correctness', a phrase that has come back to haunt me from time to time.

Yet I was the guy who got diagnosed with this life-changing illness.

Even among people on dialysis, I get the best possible dialysis. Very few people get the amount of dialysis I do. I am also very proactive about my health. I research about my condition, try to read up about my condition and participate in the forums on the internet. In spite of all this, I have all the co-morbidities of long term kidney disease. I am now battling a skin condition.

On the other hand, I know of people who get dialysed barely twice a week, do not control their diet, don't even visit their doctor regularly, are least bothered about their condition and the new research that is coming out. Yet, they are totally normal apart from the dialysis bit.

All three of us agreed that we shouldn't have been so good and should have 'enjoyed life' so to speak. Its too late now though and our medical conditions forbid us from doing anything even remotely intemperate. Well, there we go again!

2 comments:

SCDAFF said...

This post is making me to revisit the decision ................

Anonymous said...

I feel I'm God's special one, the chosen one.The time spend on dialysis is painful not easy but every second of it goes in remembering God, with tears flowing down for how close I feel God is with me. Believe me I'v never experienced clairvoyance like I do now.Life is changed and is not funny most of the time.I hear people saying sad things and sometimes indicating bad karma of past life but I refuse to take this ideology. I'm proud of myself and my doings.
We know that death is a sure to happen fact but still when it bangs at the door of life each one of us say,"Why me". Somehow that the thought that came to me," Ok its me then dont let me wait because that waiting is painful".