Saturday, February 19, 2011

Uremic minds

I wrote about the mental aspects of kidney disease earlier too here and here. I find myself thinking about this in the past few days again. There have been, undeniably, some changes in my mental make up all along my journey with kidney disease. Isn't it natural?

When my peers were busy completing their master's in this field or that, I was grappling with basic survival - my initial diagnosis and a transplant. When my peers were getting married, I was trying to get a handle on my life by switching to Peritoneal Dialysis and get some period of sanity. When they started having kids, I had to switch to hemo and then get my home hemo setup done. Now, when I see them planning their kids' futures, I am battling comorbidities of long term kidney disease. With all this, can anyone be surprised that there are mental changes in me?

What are these mental changes? I tend to react strongly to small things. Two swallows do not make a summer. For me, often, one is enough to conclude that its summer. One small incident and I tend to generalize that that is how things are always. Working full time has probably limited that to some extent. The more someone thinks about his kidney disease, the stronger this warped thinking becomes.

People who are dealing with people with kidney disease on dialysis should always remember this. Families of people on dialysis, doctors, nurses, techs - please remember this. Please give them some leeway. Do not judge them based on such actions. Needles take their toll. They cause bumps on the hand - and the mind as well.

1 comment:

Shravan Kumar. M said...

You are right Kamal! Every one in this world needs a support and people in problem would need more support to get away from their problems/ disguise their problems and show their inner strengths.

I have been recently reading one book written by Keith Ferrazzi - who's got your back - and am loving it. We know what he says in this book, but when you read it you will realize it more and feel it more.