Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Why I started dreading my non-dialysis nights

I posted recently about how I looked forward to my non-dialysis days. That has changed quickly. I have started dreading the nights due to the numbness in the left hand.  I am able to sleep only for a few hours and then wake up with severe numbness in the fingers of my left hand. I sit up for a bit and the numbness gets better. Then I try to sleep again. Within 30-40 minutes it returns. I do this a few times and then give up. This morning I gave up at around 4 am. Last Tuesday night, it was 3 am.

Luckily I have a diagnosis. I saw a vascular surgeon a few days back and he is convinced that it is Steal Syndrome. The fistula in my left arm is not allowing enough blood to flow to the hand due to which the hand feels numb.

The plan is to take a vein from the lower left thigh and bypass the fistula to give supply directly to the hand. This needs to be done under general anesthesia. My parents are going to be out of town the rest of the month. I am planning to get this surgery done in the first week of June.

I also went to see the orthopedic doctor a few days back to discuss the worsening pain the left knee. He asked me to repeat the MRI which showed that the inflammation was getting worse. He has suggested that we get a procedure done called an Arthroscopy where they will remove the synovial fluid and send it for analysis. This will tell us what exactly the reason is for the inflammation. It could be rheumatoid arthritis, Tuberculosis or something called Pigmented villonodular synovitis (PVNS).

Once the cause is established, the treatment can be planned. This will also be done after the first week of June.

To my mind, the numbness is the bigger problem and I am really looking forward to it being resolved. I will keep you posted.

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Why this dichotomy?

It’s late evening
The body is tired, the joints ache
He’s in no mood for more
He’s had enough
His eyelids droop

How has his day been?
He reflects and nods with satisfaction
Not spectacular, not uneventful
Could have been better
But for things beyond his control

He is ready to sleep
As the birds head home
As darkness envelopes the sky
Nothing more to do
Nothing more to look forward to

He looks around him
People are still in their mornings
Or afternoons
With lots more to do
With lots to look forward to

Why then has night fallen?
Why then is it time to sleep?
Isn’t there an answer?
Will someone not question?
Why this unfair ending to the day?

Life is not fair, not just
Not equal to all
Some have bright days
Others have clouds
Why this difference, why this dichotomy?